The Word That Holds Us Back

The other day, I was talking with my younger sister. She’s a first-time mom, newly single, and trying to adjust to a life that doesn’t look anything like what she imagined. There’s a heaviness in her voice these days—a mix of exhaustion, overwhelm, and uncertainty.

We were just catching up, talking about her day, when it happened.
She sighed and said, “I can’t do this.”
A few moments later, “I can’t deal with that right now.”
Then, “I can’t imagine it getting better.”

That word kept showing up.
Can’t.

I heard it so clearly because I’ve been there before. I’ve been in the place where “can’t” felt like the truest thing I could say.
But here’s the thing—“can’t” can be dangerous.

It’s not just a word; it’s a mindset.
It plants seeds of defeat before you’ve even tried.
It shrinks the space for hope.
It quietly builds walls that keep you in the same place, even when part of you is ready to move forward.

I told her: Your vocabulary shapes your mindset, and your mindset shapes your reality. If you keep telling yourself “I can’t,” your life will keep proving you right.

We talked about replacing “I can’t” with something softer, something that leaves room to grow:
“I’m learning.”
“I’m figuring it out.”
“I’m not ready yet—but I will be.”

Because every time we say “can’t,” we close a door that might have been ready to open.
And the truth is, sometimes the hardest part isn’t doing the thing—it’s believing you can.